Like, I-- it's when people, when you find people that have murdered, like, 80 people and you're like "how"
Elena:
How? How?
Interviewer:
How? Yeah.
Maya:
"do you kill 80 people and not get caught?" Obviously it's all people that are from, like, the 80s and, like, there's no, like, DNA testing.
Interviewer:
Then you just start thinking, like, "how could I?"
Maya:
Yeah I know, you're like "how would I do it if I was gonna go on a pure murder spree?"
Elena:
I-- we were talking about this in-- at my first placement. This woman was like "I know how I'd do it." And I was like "what?" She was like "I'd buy a big-- You know those massive rolls of black pudding?" Right, she was like "I'd buy one of them, like, the big massive ones." She was like "I'd kill them and then I'd eat it and then you-- they would have no evidence."
Maya:
That's true.
Elena:
And she was like "or I would make a huge icicle and I'd stab them in the eye and it would go right through and then it melts."
Interviewer:
And then melts. Yeah, so there's no murder weapon.
Elena:
And I was like "are you alright?"
Maya:
That's actually genius.
Elena:
I was like "you're working with children here." And then she was like "no, I just was thinking."
Interviewer:
How did she pass her PVG check?
Elena:
I know, that's what I said. Oh it was so funny. But yeah, no, getting a big roll of black pudding and just like knocking someone out with it and having it for your breakfast for the next four days.
Interviewer:
Oh my God, I thought you meant you make the person into a black pudding.
Maya:
I thought that's where it was going as well, I was like--
Elena:
No, kill them with the black pudding and then actually eat it.
Interviewer:
Yeah, but they're still dead so there's still like circumstantial like evidence around them and you'd still have like your DNA and stuff on them.
Elena:
Yeah.
Maya:
You'd just have to pure run away, like, really quickly and just--
Interviewer:
Yeah I know. Just throw a black pudding out of the window.
Maya:
But imagine being like a forensic investigator and being like
Elena:
They got killed by a--
Maya:
"why is there traces of DNA on the back of, like-- why is there traces of black pudding on the back of their head."
Older speakers
Ian:
Well, we used to go to all the concerts together and a' that. We used to always go to the playhoose to see the-- Stevie Wonder and Tom Jones.
Hamish:
He never seen us but we seen him.
Ian:
We seen-- we seen him but he-- he never seen us, sort of-- that's true. Tom Jones, went to the castle to see Tom Jones.
Hamish:
But he was-- it was the best-- best concert we've seen.
Interviewer:
Yeah?
Ian:
It was amazing.
Hamish:
Done-- done three hours.
Interviewer:
Aye?
Ian:
Amazing.
Interviewer:
Non stop?
Hamish:
Aye.
Ian:
Yeah.
Interviewer:
Wow.
Hamish:
Unbelievable.
Interviewer:
That is class.
Ian:
Pure class.
Hamish:
Yep, he was great.
Interviewer:
How-- how-- when was that?
Ian:
Oh, that's a good while ago 'cause, em, he's been back and forward. It was about--
Hamish:
In the 90s? No?
Ian:
Aye, the 90s. Aye, it was. It was only-- it was the dearest ticket we ever bought an a', it was 35 pound.
Hamish:
I ken, it was 30-- at that time. It was a lot of money then. 30--
Interviewer:
I was gonna say, yeah.
Ian:
At that time it was actually dear. It was expensive but it was well worth it.
Hamish:
It was well worth the money.
Ian:
Ken, it was at least a tenner an hour which was good.
Hamish:
Yeah.
Interviewer:
Yeah.
Ian:
What we're getting here.
Hamish:
Aye.
Interviewer:
Exactly. Exactly. Well worth it. I'm glad you see it's well worth it now.
Ian:
No, I didnae. Aye, he's, eh, it was worth it, 35 pound each. Well, it was 70 pound each 'cause we-- the women.
Hamish:
Took our wives.
Interviewer:
Yeah? Good.
Ian:
And we went to see Tom Jones in the castle.
Interviewer:
Oh really?
Hamish:
Yeah.
Ian:
Yeah. And we seen--
Hamish:
That-- that was very good as well.
Interviewer:
Yeah?
Hamish:
He was amazing.
Interviewer:
In the castle?
Hamish:
Yep.
Ian:
Aye. In the castle.
Interviewer:
I saw Tom Jones--
Hamish:
Yep. They were still throwing knickers at him.
Interviewer:
Really? In the castle.
Hamish:
Aye. Lassies at the front.
Ian:
And the guy threw-- they had-- somebody threw a pair of knickers on-- it was on the guy's hat a' the-- a' through the concert, eh, remember? The guy was sitting, didnae have a clue. It was funny.
Hamish:
Aye.
Interviewer:
On his hat? So it's, like, hanging off?
Ian:
Aye, on his hat. He didnae ken he had a pair of knickers on his hat. Everybody was looking. Naybody told him.
